Like every other girl, I too dream of a guy who will take care of me in every possible manner, even after marriage. Sipping masala tea standing in the kitchen, I expressed my thoughts to my mom. Apprehensively, she said, stop day dreaming, such guys do not exist.

Wanting me to experience the pinch of reality, agitated she said, “you will always feel something or the other is missing, even if your husband is giving you his hundred percent. So, it’s better to be self sufficient, rather than expect that others would work for you. Instead, think of the expectations he and his family would have from you. All this might sound very age old, but the reality is that certain house hold duties are definitely expected to be fulfilled by the lady of the house”.

I knew all this but still wasn’t wanting to experience reality and continued saying that, “No, I have seen that husbands also share the responsibilities equally, or even do more”. Mom said, “okay if you want to share responsibilities, start practicing this from today itself and help me with the daily chores”.

I am a quintessential lazy girl and thus told mom that I don’t need to practice it now and will start with all this after marriage. Most girls these days learn core cooking and cleaning after marriage as they are working full time. As and when we face problems, there is always an option to keep a maid.

Mom said, “maids are not trustworthy these days, how will you know if the meal that she just served doesn’t contain poison?”

This got me into the thinking mode again. But I was adamant that I will get a household where everybody will be very supportive and help me learn what I don’t know and do better what I already know. I confidently continued, “And ofcourse, by that I expect that some adjustments here and there can be flexibly incorporated… between the breakfast, tea, snacks… other meals… right mom?

“No, you won’t even get bed tea”, she said.